oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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