I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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