I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize