i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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