Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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