she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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