that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
