im drinking this country out of the recession.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
