I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize