Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
