I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize