sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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