1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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