All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
