how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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