is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Still dying that you shit outside
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
