It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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