I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
