Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
