His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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