My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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