Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
