do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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