you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
