I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The power of my boobs compel you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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