dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
