Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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