Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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