I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize