I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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