Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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