her vagina looked like bernie madoff
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
