i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dick very happy bro
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize