i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize