she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
