the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
