The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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