i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
