she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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