Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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