her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
