My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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