That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
