some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
