I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
