so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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