people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize