I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
