I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
