There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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