Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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