I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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