holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
