It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
