i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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