recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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