just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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