you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need a beard to bite.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
